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Thoughts on Grief

Grief has no boundaries, no direction, and no sense of place or time.  It comes expectedly, unexpectedly, harshly, and even tenderly.  If you are reading this, you are either grieving or walking alongside someone who is.  We hope that with these suggested readings and resources, you will feel more familiar with the process of grief and begin a path of understanding.

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As the Bereaved

We hear survivors ask, “What do I do now?” That phrase is usually followed by, “I wasn’t ready for him/her to go.”, or “I wasn’t finished with him/her.”  It’s true whether the death is sudden or expected, there is still a sense of not knowing what comes next.  Your usual routine is gone, and your person is missing.  At your own pace, take advantage of in-person grief counseling, talk with our chaplain, or explore books on grief (here are a few we can recommend):


  • I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One (A Compassionate Grief Recovery Book) Paperback – May 1, 2008, by Brook Noel (Author), Pamela D Blair PhD (Author)
  • Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child (Good Grief Series) Paperback – January 31, 2017, by Gary Roe (Author)
  • The Grief Collective: Stories of Life, Loss & Learning to Heal (The Collective books by Dr. Marianne Trent) Paperback – October 4, 2020, by Dr Marianne Trent (Author)


Online you can find local groups offering grief resources (here are a few we can recommend):


Offering Comfort

Comforting those who have lost a loved one is much easier than you might think.


Words of comfort are sometimes awkward and scary because you can’t find the right words.  As the bereaved family, you may hear any number of well-meant inelegant phrases that are discomforting. Overlook the clumsy offering by remembering it was probably said with the best of intentions.


Be sure, the kindest words of comfort can be as simple as “I know you are hurting.  I am here for you whenever or however you need me.”  Acts of kindness also provide comfort.  Taking a meal to the bereaved, taking in the garbage can, putting the garbage out, making a meal, mowing a yard, shoveling snow, etc., etc., or sitting with your family or friend gives comfort.


As a friend to the grieving, you have the power to help heal by following up with the bereaved in the days, weeks, and months ahead.


  • Let them know you remember them in their grief.
  • Share a story or anecdote about their loved one.
  • Ask. “How are you?” “Would you like to talk?” “How can I care for you?”
  • Listen.


We wish you peace, solace, and comfort in the days ahead.

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